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5 features of people with low emotional intelligence

Scientists can hardly agree with such a simple and anti -scientific division, but in a certain sense we can assume that we have two “brains”: one thinks, the second feels. People with high emotional intelligence are distinguished by empathy, responsiveness, the ability to listen to others, a high level of awareness. And what is characteristic of everyone else and why relations with them are so difficult to build?

Recently, about emotional intelligence (EI), or about “emotional literacy”, they say more and more often. And not surprisingly: understanding ourselves, we can better understand others, realize the reasons for our actions and learn how to manage behavior.

In the book “Emotional Intelligence. Why he can mean more than IQ, ”Daniel GOLMAN writes:“ People with a well -developed emotional gift will be satisfied and successful in life, subjugating the tendencies of the mind, which contribute to an increase in their own productivity;People who cannot establish at least some control over emotional life are forced to lead internal battles, undermining their ability to work and think clearly ”.

People with low emotional intelligence experience difficulties with the correct recognition of emotions – their own and strangers. It is often difficult to live with them and work, they judge others and at the same time painfully and inadequately perceive even the most friendly and constructive criticism addressed to their address. This is what else is related to them among themselves.

1. They are not able to build a deep long -term relationship

Most people are for the most part, because it is difficult for them to get closer to others, whether it be a friend or a potential partner. The basis of strong long -term friendship is usually the exchange of ideas, the mutual expression of sympathy and empathy, and supporting.

It is pointless to wait for this from people with low EI: it is difficult for them to adequately react to the words, emotions and behavior of the interlocutor, and, as a result, they miss the opportunity to get closer to someone, dooming themselves to isolation. If you notice that you are also characteristic of you, try to get to know others better, actively listening to them, and not telling about yourself.

2. They know themselves poorly

Own feelings, emotions, motives, their own soul for them – dark. They do not understand why they behave in one way or another,

what is behind it.

People with high emotional intelligence are in contact with feelings, but do not allow them to manage life, they are aware of what is happening and try to respond adequately to it. Alas, all this cannot be said about people with low EI. To fix this, they need to start getting to know themselves, with their inner world.

3. And at the same time focused on themselves

There is nothing surprising in this: it is difficult for people with a low EI to understand the feelings of others, and therefore they try on every situation and circumstances on themselves, and therefore, they translate to themselves the focus of any conversation. They do not open themselves and do not give others the opportunity to open.

Asking the question, such people do not seek to hear the response of the interlocutor and generally hardly give him the opportunity to speak out. Which, of course, is hardly motivating him to continue communication. In addition, such people often seek to manipulate others and control them.

4. They are always right

You probably have a friend who is distinguished by a categorical opinion for any reason. Such a person divides everything into “black” and “white”, believes that his point of view is extremely important, and tries to convince others. Most likely, he or her low EI.

Communication with such people usually exhausts, because they listen to you not to understand, but to answer as soon as possible, and refuse to recognize the right of others to their own point of view. It is impossible to say that they are to blame for this: it is really difficult for them to look at the situation through the eyes of another, to recognize him or her emotions and answer them adequately. But the good news is that you can learn this.

5. They are never to blame for anything

Low score in the exam – the guilt of the teacher. The report incorrect on time is the result of non -betrayal. They fired from work because colleagues sat down or the boss did not appreciate his efforts. We make mistakes, and this is normal: this is how we learn the new, improve. Those who do not recognize their mistakes do not extract lessons from them and, most likely, will repeat them.

Therefore, it is so important to learn to take responsibility for yourself, to understand what went wrong through your fault and how to avoid it. The first and most important thing that a person with a low EI can do is to admit the presence of a problem.

Everything is fixable – you can “pump” your EI. You can learn to understand yourself and others, and therefore get closer to them.

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